Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Jebb

Night before last Simon and I were reading his take home reading book...it was about a girl named Jill and a boy named Jebb.

Jebb?

Yes, Simon Jebb.

But that's not even a word.

Well, it's supposed to be a name.

But it's not. Is it a mistake? Is it supposed to say job?

No.

What about jab?

NO!

Well, jib is a real word.

I know, but this is a name and it's Jebb.

That's not really a name.

Yes it is ...it's Jill's hillbilly cousin who just came into town for a visit...they have weird names where he comes from.

And they don't know what bird cages look like either? (Jebb thinks the fan on the bus is a bird cage.)

Apparently not.

And they don't ride on buses? (Jebb thinks the bus has a face.)

No, that's where they make moon shine.

What's moon shine?

Forget, I brought it up...let's just finish this book...


***To any hillbilly's out there who may be reading this post...don't be offended we're probably related...on my husband's side of course.

***To any of my husband's family who may be reading this...well, who am I kidding, none of you are reading this and even if you were, you're stuck with me so there's nothing you can do except to avoid buses and drink some moonshine

Monday, March 21, 2011

World's Worst Social Reformer

I'm the world's worst social reformer.

Remember that complaint I filed about my local gas station firing all my beloved soda serving employees? Well, I got a response. Three of them to be exact. The company said that looked into my complaint and would be putting the store under new management (again), was very sorry for what had happened, and hoped that I would return soon.

Ok---so, I know that this big chain of gas stations really doesn't care about what I think or the nice people that got canned but, last Tuesday I stopped by to see if they really had changed things up like they promised. And to my surprise, they had.

A whole new, unsleezy crew was working there. And the thing is, if I started to frequent the place again I can see myself liking these people. But what about the ones that were fired unjustly??? Do I just forget them? Where are they? Why can't they just come back?

I swore I'd never go to the store again...but the company did try to fix what had happened...but I just want them to track down the old employees and rehire them. I know, I ask too much. And what makes everything worse is the fact that I'm tempted to go there again...the new crew seems likable and not all nasty and evil like the ones who came in and gave my buddies the boot.

AGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Am I making too big of deal out of this or is big business getting the best of me?

Will I ever be able to stand up for the little guys? Can a Dr.Pepper addict like me ever make a difference? Probably not, and that is why I will voluntarily declare myself to be the world's worst social reformer.

Friday, March 18, 2011

You know you've watced too much TV when...

...you become convinced that Cinderella was in fact, and animal hoarder.

That's right folks. Cinderella was an animal hoarder.

(That must have come as a real shock for poor old prince charming...what a shame, they should have dated longer.)

How did I discover this dark secret you ask? Well, I'll tell you. After hours of sitting on the couch watching cable classics like "Hoarders", "Confessions: Animal Hoarding" and "Hoarding: Buried Alive". I was watching Cinderella with Gracie one afternoon when it hit me....

...Cinderella has all the signs of a classic hoarder!!! Think about it. Many animals in a small confined space, animals in her bed and clothes. And let's not overlook the fact that she carries on conversations, sings, and makes clothes for all of them.

Then what about all that old junk she stores in her room? Hum??? How many of you have free standing dress forms, old trunks, dresses ready to be refashioned, and an army of sewing savvy mice at your fingertips? (And what about all those mice slinking around the house bringing back discarded items to add to the hoard? Looks suspicious to me. I'll bet they were trained...BY, none other than, CINDERELLA HERSELF!!!)

So really now that I am thinking about it that step mothers wicked bad rap was all wrong. What choice did she have other than to lock Cinderella up there in that tower? The animal stench alone must have been overwhelming! And then that whole dramatic story about her being made a slave in her own home...phooey! I bet that step mother was trying her best to break Cinderella of her unsanitary living habits.

Unfortunately, prince charming stepped in and "saved the day".

Happily ever after???
I seriously doubt it. If they were so happy why didn't we ever hear from them again?

OH! I'll tell you why! Because they all died of the plague carried in by the fleas on her rodents (and who ever was left alive were eventually done in by the predecessor to the bird flu). That's why.

Cinderella a poor neglected orphan? More like a raving animal hoarder with a serious tendency towards kleptomania.

And don't even get me started on Snow White...a new season of Sister Wives is starting and I can see some similarities there as well...man, I've got to turn off the T.V.