Symptoms of Uncoolness

Symptoms of my uncoolness have been showing for years (let's face it my whole life) but recently they have become far more pronounced.

Like the other day I was at the Wal-Mart when I was tackled by a former student. He was such a cute little 7th grader and now he's a big old ugly senior in high school. There he was so excited to tell me what he's been doing and introduce me to his girlfriend and blah blah blah and what do I talk to him about? I start scolding him for failing grades last semester and making him commit to completing his packets early so he can walk with his graduating class. Not cool. When did I get old?

Then as he's telling me how hard it is to complete a lousy packet I'm thinking "Hard? I'll show you hard! Try taking your two kids to Wal-Mart where they will fill up the cart which you are trying to push while they are acting crazy and you are lugging around a giant Tupperware bin full of heavy plants! Now, that's hard. Give me your stinking packets any day." So, I'm uncool and ornery.

As he walked away with his girlfriend I heard them planning to go to this cool little place for lunch. I pulled the train into the check out station thinking, "You're behind in credits to graduate but you're going to spend your day off wandering Wal-Mart and going out to lunch? Seriously?" Even my thoughts are uncool! But then items in the cart shifted, eliza was buried in groceries and my thoughts turned to extracting my child from the cart.

This incident is just one example of many I've experienced lately. Like the other day I saw one of my old favorite movies on TV---Dumb and Dumber. As I watched it I realized I don't really think it's that funny anymore. Could it be possible I've outgrown it?

Or the other night I was at Book Club and my friends husband came home. He started telling us about how he takes the new express bus into work everyday. He started to laugh about that being the most exciting thing in his life. Well---at least that something. I don't have a bus story. Uncool again.

I'd write more but eliza is asleep and I need take advantage of this time to go clean the bathrooms. Yes, I know that's not cool either. Part of me wants a remedy to my uncoolness. The other part is glad to be uncool. Which is good because I think, at this point, I'm incurable.

Which reminds me---the other day driving home I was flipping through radio stations and stopped to listen to Dolly Parton sing "9 to 5". Now I know that can't be cool.