Hey Good Looking

Before Christmas Simon had his tonsils and adenoids removed. The next morning when we all woke up I realized we had no bread or milk in the house. Super.

Without even getting the kids dressed I loaded them in the car. Simon wasn't feeling well but I tempted him with the prospects of picking out a bucket of ice cream all for himself.

As we walked through the wind and snow into the store I knew this would have to be a fast trip. Gracie was crying for milk and Simon was melting into a pile. Quickly I threw Gracie and Simon into the shopping cart and sped over to the milk. Without even waiting to pay for it (or finish my shopping) I opened the milk and filled Gracie's bottle.

With one child under control I asked Simon what would help him. By now he was laying in a heap next to Grace's car seat in the cart. He said he was freezing. So I covered them both with my coat. As we walked around I saw big tears falling down his cheeks. "Mom, I don't feel good," he says. Me, mad at myself for not planning ahead ask what I can do to help. "Sing me a song." he says.

Well, what was I supposed to do? How could I say no? I start to sing. Simon covers them up "like a fort" in the cart and we proceed to pick up a few more items. Things are going swimmingly and I forget to keep my voice down.

As we turn down the next aisle I'm belting out "Hey good lookin'. What you got cookin'?" Only to be met by some dude (roughly my same age) who smiles weakly, flashes me his wedding ring and heads off toward the cereal. Suddenly I look down at the cart and see only groceries! My kids are completely covered up and I realize that I look like I'm alone and that guy thought I was singing to him.

Seriously?!? Who would pick up on someone like that? I wanted to get on the PA system and tell him that this is Wal-Mart and not Top Gun but then I realized I didn't even have back up singers or a uniform and that it was really a bad analogy and that when it all comes down to it I just shouldn't be allowed out in public. Could someone please remind me of this the next time I need milk?