Trapped in a Port a Potty

So there I am, all alone, trapped in a port-a potty unable to pull up my own pants.

What could have brought me to this lowly state? I've been in some ridiculous situations but seriously...how did this happen?

Well, remember that marathon I ran....

The morning of the marathon was cold, dark, and wet. After arriving in a pasture up a canyon at 3:45 in the morning and waiting in a freezing drizzle the race began. And 30 minutes later so did the rain, which lasted almost 2 hours. Then there was the wind. It lasted longer than that.

With water squishing out of my shoes and my jacket heavy laden with moisture I stopped at the half marathon point for a bathroom break. I was numb, cold, and shivering. Even my teeth chattered. (Even though it was June the temperature at that time was in the 40's.)

I staggered into the port-a-potty and with effort uncurled my frozen lobster claw hands enough to pull down my pants and make it to the bathroom. That's when the trouble began.

As I stood up I realized my hands were far more frozen than I had anticipated and far too frozen to grasp my soaking stretchy pants or the underwear clinging to my knees. Try as I might the paralyzed fingers were no match for wet clothing. Then to make matters worse as I'm bending over working on my problem my soaking hair keeps dripping into my eyes and freezing rain water pours out of the jacket and down my bare legs.

I'm cold, tired, partially naked and trapped in a plastic container full of other people's pee. What cold I do? I leaned my head against the door and cried. A more pathetic image of myself I can't imagine.

After a minute I pulled it together. This was not where I intended to stay. I let my pants drop completely to the floor of that filthy place and with gestures I can't even explain I pulled up those soggy stretchy pants and exited the potty.

I had overcome! I was victorious! Sure my pants were on crooked but who cares? I didn't have to finish the race with only Jon's jacket to cover my frozen rear end.

So, that's that. And this is my official marathon report post. In case you're wondering I did finish the race. And, I finished it fully clothed although later someone had to take my jacket off for me because my fingers were too numb.

The marathon was a funny thing. Horrible and wonderful and humiliating all at the same time. Here's to the St. George marathon coming up in a few months and here's to me wearing suspenders on my pants in case of inclimate weather.