There is A Cat on My Head

When we moved here there were mice and voles everywhere so I needed a cat. But, I'm weird about things and didn't want to buy a pet at a pet store. I felt like I needed to adopt one from a shelter. I spent awhile looking around for just the right adoptee---the perfect addition to our family. And I finally found one. A cute little black and white long hair kitten. She was beautiful.

Simon and I went one afternoon to adopt her and bring her home. I was so excited. When we got to the place they put us in this tiny 5'x5' room with a carpeted bench covered in hair and left us with the kitten to fill out the paper work. At this point I should tell you I'm ridiculously allergic to cats. So within minutes my eyes start to swell and water. By the time I was finished with the paper work full on hives are popping up on my arms and my throat is closing up.

But, I finished then I went with some nice high school boy who helped my gather up some items I needed and walked me out to the car. For some reason I had assumed that when you get a pet they put it in some sort of happy meal like container for you to take it home in. I was wrong. The kid dropped the food on the ground handed me the cat and told me to have a good day. Now I was standing in a parking lot alone with a two year old, a 50 pound bag of cat food, and one freaked out kitten.

Somehow I managed to get the food and Simon loaded and buckled without loosing the kitten. I was proud, I was super mom and we were on our way home. I decided to just hold the cat on my lap driving home. I figured that way Simon wouldn't fight with her and she wouldn't wind up on the floor under the pedals. Looking back I question that decision. We pull out of the parking lot and into traffic when kitty goes mental. Meowing...peeing...clawing...whatever...next she's on my shirt and I'm going 45 down a busy road fighting a kitten. Before I can stop her she's on my head. THE CAT IS ON TOP OF MY HEAD! I am driving a car with a cat standing on my head.

When I say on my head I mean literally on top of my head. And then she hunkered in. Oh, I was trying to pull that sucker off but she wasn't moving. Her claws were embedded in my scalp. As I'm struggling I pull up to a stop light. I'm yanking on the cat, Simon is screaming and then I notice the ladies in the car next to me are staring at me in utter confusion. Kitty has removed her front claws from my brain and has lodged them in the headrest. With a mighty pull I detach the kitten from above and hold her next to the steering wheel with my left hand. The light turns green and I gun it. Did I mention that my car is a stick shift and that I'm shifting during all of this?

I was a long drive but finally we get home. I put the cat in the garage and shut the door. I put Simon in front of the TV. I walk across the street to neighbors I hardly knew for help.

Now picture this if you will: my eyes are running and almost completely swollen shut, snot is flowing uncontrollably from both nostrils, my chest, neck, face, and arms are covered in scratches that are swelling and what skin that is left unscratched is bursting with angry red hives. I'm sneezing and coughing and I ring the doorbell. The sweet 14 year old boy answers the door. "Oh, Sister Evans," he says, "you need help. My mom's not home, but I'll get my sisters."

I walked back across the street with two of his sisters that made the cat a bed then gave her food, water and love. They stayed all afternoon and were darling. At this point I wish I could tell you that after a shower and some allergy medication it was all love and joy. However, as with most things I plan it didn't turn out how I'd envisioned it.

Kitty became ill. We called the shelter, kitty had tested positive for every animal illness known to man. We loaded her in a box and Jon drove her to Payson to meet the shelter's vet. She died later that evening.

That being said, I don't want you to think this story ends on a sad note. Kitty was going to die. I just didn't know that. But I like to think that before she did she became part of a family, went on the ride of her life and then spent an afternoon with two adorable girls who gave her tons of love and affection. Plus she gave me something to laugh about---every time I get into the car I see her claw prints on my head rest.

That's better than spending your last hours in some stinking shelter any day.